literature

Think

Deviation Actions

Koprone's avatar
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Literature Text

I used to think. I once was like any other person- confused, wondering, debating thinking... But the past time, the process of thinking has faded away like a blood stain from a cloth in the washing machine. F' asked me how I feel, and I didn't knew what to answer him, because honestly, I felt nothing. I was numb, empty. There wasn't love in me, nor hate, nor neutral... oh, how how you call them? Ah, thoughts.
But f' couldn't stand this long, because he always needed a thinking partner to suck replics from. Thus, he decided to wake me up.
One night when I was lying in my bed and blankly looking at the ceilling, I suddenly had the urge to walk to the bathroom. I stood up and went outside the room. In the minute when I entered the bathroom and upproached the mirror, I saw f'. He was looking at me with stressful eyes sticking out of his skull. His hair was a mess and so was his whole appearence. Suddenly, I heard a quiet murmur: "ee...ee..me...". I heard a rusted voice say. I came close to the mirror and to f's face. "Feed me...feed me..." he whispered in a squeek.
At this point I was confused. I asked myself what in the world that creature wants now, above all things, he wants to be feeded?! For crying out loud, this little useless bastard wants something from me?! He can feed himself, sure he can, that squeeking ugly piece of crap.
I clenched my fists next to my body and looked at the pale sick face in front of me. "What do yu want?!" I called, but f' didn't respond, because he knew that I knew what he wanted.
I sighed. Alright, I thought, maybe this is something I not yet have controll on... " Yes..." I said suddenly and cought f's attention. "I...t...th..think..I
the words got trapped in my lungs, refused to burst out. But then eventually...
"I think I feel lonely though I have friends, you know f'?" I think I'm lost inside myself and I just can't get out... do you know what I mean? So what do you think?"
And by that, f' smilled and started to reply. And that self dialogue was the first one I've got since six months.
Was written while I was in Boston, during a creative writing session. I looked at the sentence "I used to think" and the piece started to flow.
© 2009 - 2024 Koprone
Comments4
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SitraAchra's avatar
That's kinda crazy! I like it. :cowtwo:

One of my friends used to have a depersonalization disorder, and your piece kinda reminded me of it.

But you know, life is better without thinking.
אין שכל אין דאגות XD